Have to Let You Go
by mrs.salvatore39
Summary: scene to shot fic for 3x22. What if Elena had chosen Damon over Stefan? How would that have changed her future, if at all? LEMON


_a/n: if this scene had been in the show the way that I am going to write it, then we would have had an entirely different ending to season four. Because of that and ALL the things it would have changed it's going to be fairly short and the ending will be very open. Like, so open you may even hate me by the end of it, but alas I wanted to make this story as 'possible' as possible so that it didn't demean the ending of the episode. I could have easily changed everything, but then how would this be a season three finale scene? Forgive me.  
__This may seem illogical altogether, but I just can't bare to have poor Damon standing in that storage place all alone anymore. The image is too heartbreaking, even if the 'right' choice was only made in my head. Enjoy this 'scene to shot' fic for 3x22._

_Dedicated to _EverythingYouWanted_ (for wanting Elena to finally choose Damon just as badly as I did)._

HAVE TO LET YOU GO

Damon looked down at his ringing phone, relief soothing him a little when Elena's name flashed on the screen. At least, she was still alive. "Let me guess…calling to see if the Grim Reaper's paid a visit?"

"How are you feeling? Are there any symptoms?" she sounded scared, nervous. What he wouldn't give to be able to hold her in his arms right now and soothe all that tension out of her.

"Not yet." He pushed away from the car, unable to be still. "But I'm sure we'll all have a laugh once we find out that Klaus is a big, fat liar."

"Yeah, I'm…I'm sure we will." You didn't need to hook up a lie detector to the girl to know that she was saying purely for his benefit.

"Hey, where are you?" he knew it was foolish to get his hopes up, but they were soaring anyway. Of course her hesitant silence had them wavering, and then crashing down when she spoke.

Her words nearly crippled him. "Matt's taking me home."

"To Stefan."

He could hear Elena take a deep breath, wait to find the right words that would ease at least a little of his pain. If there were any. "Not just to Stefan, Damon. To Tyler, to Caroline."

He cut her off, they weren't exactly lies or excuses; but they might as well have been. She would have found any reason to keep them apart. This was always going to be the way with them. He wasn't first choice, or even second choice with her. Not anymore anyway. "No, I get it. So, since I'm…possibly a dead man, can I ask you a question?"

At least this time, she didn't hesitate. "Yeah, of course."

"If it was just down to him and me, and you had to make a choice of who got the goodbye…who would it be?"

If he'd had the need to breath, he was sure he would be holding it by now. She sighed and he could imagine the torn emotions across her face. "I love him, Damon. He came into my life at a time when I needed someone and I fell for him instantly. No matter what I feel for you, I never unfell for him."

"Oh yeah, I get it. It's Stefan…it's always gonna be, Stefan." Even after a hundred years.

"I can't think about always, all I can think about is right now…and I care about you Damon, which is why I have to let you go." He felt the blade of hurt and anger twist inside his heart, shattering it even further than before he'd answered the phone. He knew she would never chose him, but the final answer from her lips was too much for him to hear. "I mean, maybe if you and I had met first…"

_If only you knew… _"Yeah, maybe." He felt almost numb, suddenly desperate to get off the phone with her before he either exploded or started begging.

"You're gonna be fine." She said, her tone calm and even, as if the last few minutes hadn't happened. As if she hadn't just ripped his heart out and chewed it into mush. "You hear me? You're gonna be okay and I'm gonna see you soon."

There was a threat of tears in her voice and he knew he couldn't bare to listen to her cry for another minute, especially if it was possibly his last minutes. "Real soon…goodbye Elena."

Still unsure how final this goodbye was, he ended the call and prepared himself to face Ric.

* * *

Elena let her phone drop into her lap, her body numb and shaking from the emotional turmoil she had just gone through. Matt reached over and took her hand, squeezing it in his. "You did the right thing, finally giving him an answer."

"Then why does it feel so wrong?" she chocked back the sobs and held tightly to him.

Matt spoke slowly, deliberately but almost as if he was unsure what he was getting them into. "Maybe because the act was right, but the choice was wrong."

"What are you saying?" she demanded, her voice loud in the cab of the truck. "That I should go to Damon and leave Stefan to die alone? Leave Caroline and Tyler?"

"Elena, they're dying anyway. We might not be able to make it back there in time, but we can definitely make it Damon…but you have to decide right now."

They'd played this game already tonight, and she'd chosen Stefan…but Damon's sad tone was still ringing in her ears and she couldn't help feeling her heart pulling her in the opposite direction that the truck was going. "Take me to him." She whispered and Matt pulled a U-turn once more.

* * *

Damon could taste his own blood as another of Ric's punches broke open more of the skin on his face. He could have gotten up, but he knew it was no use. This man his friend had become was ruthless and getting up would only result in him getting his ass handed to him and being thrown down on the floor again. "Is that all you got?" He dared.

"Not quite." Alaric knelt next to him, raising the stake in his hand over Damon's chest.

"No Ric!" Elena's cry rang in Damon's ears as she and Matt rushed through down the hallway and into the room.

Matt stopped at the entrance, taking in the scene but Elena tackled Alaric to the ground, the stake flying out of everyone's reach. Damon took a second to breathe some life back into his lungs before rolling onto his stomach to see Elena and Ric wrestling towards the carved wood. "You shouldn't be here."

Ric chocked out as Elena winded him with a fist to the gut. He wasn't exactly human anymore, but he hadn't fed since last night and the lack of blood in his system did make him weak enough to be taken aback by the punch. Elena took advantage of his distraction and crawled across the cold cement toward the stake, her fingertips just wrapping around it as Ric's strong hands latched around her ankle, flipping her on to her back and pulling her down beneath him. She looked up at the wild eyes of the man she once trusted, and tried to push past the feeling of her heart breaking. "I can't let you kill him." She whispered, and plunged the stake into his chest. "I'm sorry."

Ric's weight fell over her and she choked out whatever breath she had left in her. He wouldn't be down for very long, minutes maybe so she struggled him off of her and crawled over to Damon's body. "You came for me." He said, quietly, letting her pull his head into her lap, closing his eyes as her fingers swept his hair back from his face.

"I did." She smiled at him for a moment and then looked up at Matt. "Get out of here. Go home. Tell Caroline I'm sorry, tell her I love her."

"And Stefan?" Matt asked, already stepping back.

Elena looked down at Damon, wiping a streak of blood from the side of his mouth with her thumb. "He will understand."

Matt wasn't entirely sure the younger Salvatore brother would understand her choice, but he left anyway, knowing that Elena would be safe now that she was with Damon. "We have to get out of here." Damon coughed, blood pooling in his mouth as he sat up.

Elena watched as he spat it out on the pavement, rising up from her knees. "We can't just leave Ric here."

Damon spoke carefully, sensitively. "He's not our Ric, Elena. Not really."

"I know." She bent over to pull the stake out of Alaric's chest, gripping it tightly in her hand. "I just…I can't lose else. How can a girl survive losing three sets of parents."

Damon wrapped one arm around her waist, looking around for some answer. Time was running out and they had to act fast. The broken rib his old friend had inflicted him with twitched as he knelt down, pulling Ric into his arms. "Let's put him in there."

Elena glanced over to the empty coffin where Klaus's body had been. All that remained was burn marks and a layer or ash. It was hardly the nicest place to put him, but they couldn't afford to be picky. She nodded and held the lid open as Damon settled the still gray faced vampire inside. Then she quickly dropped the lid and stepped back as Damon wrapped and locked a length of thick chain around the coffin's opening. It wouldn't hold him long, but it would give them enough time to get away. She followed Damon down the surprisingly well lit hallway and watched quietly as he rolled the coffin into a an open locker. "Is this where you kept Klaus?" she asked quietly and Damon nodded, stepping out to pull the door down.

It shut with a metallic thud, and once he'd locked it, he turned to take her hand. "Let's go before he breaks out."

Elena stayed silent and let him drag her outside to the Camaro. There was still blood on his face, and when they got to the car she held up, making him pause. "Let me look at you." She whispered quietly, framing his face in her hands. "You look awful."

"You sure know the right thing to say." He grimaced as she poked at a particularly stinging cut on his cheek.

"You know what I mean." She looked up at him, her eyes sad. "I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner."

Damon took a deep breath and leaned into her, pressing his forehead against hers. "I'm just glad that you came at all." He paused, tentatively wrapping his hands around her hips as her fingers trailed down to rest against his neck. "What made you change your mind?"

Elena didn't answer at first. She'd been denying him, and herself for so long that it almost felt like second nature now to ignore her feelings for Damon…but the world they lived in was crazy. He could be dying in front of her, right now. She could die at any moment… Life was fleeting in Mystic Falls and she just couldn't afford to waste anymore of it. "I knew that I made the right choice in giving you an answer…I just didn't realize until after I got off the phone that it was the wrong answer."

"What are you saying?" Elena could hear the fear in his voice, letting her fingers brush against his skin slowly in hopes the touch would calm him.

"You've always been there for me Damon…you stayed when others didn't. You fought to keep me alive when others couldn't. I couldn't let you die alone, and I'm sorry I didn't realize that before. I choose you Damon." She pressed up on her toes, letting her lips run over his lightly. "I choose you."

Damon felt his chest tighten, like someone had shoved their fist through him and wrapped around his heart. When she kissed him, he felt like he was going to die. At first he wondered if this was it, Klaus had started his line and he was going to die just like this, in Elena's arms outside of a storage locker miles away from his brother and the town he was born in. She became frustrated by his lack of response and tugged on the collar of his jacket, sighing when he returned the kiss. He realized then, that the tightening had been fear. Fear this was a dream, another fantasy his mind had created to keep him from going crazy as he died. But she was so warm beneath his hands, her body full of life and breath and love; love for him. She hadn't said the words yet, but she didn't need to. It was clear in the way she kissed him.

It had been a few weeks since they'd kissed outside the hotel, and while this kiss was more calm passion than intense frenzy, she could feel her own control snapping within her as desire took over. She could feel the adrenaline of lust run through her veins, sparking her blood on fire and making her hot all over. Roughly, she gripped his jacket tighter, thinking if she just held onto him tight enough, he wouldn't die. He wouldn't leave her. How long would they have before he started screaming in pain as Sage had done? As his arms moved around her with a vice like grip, she moaned into the kiss. She wanted more of him, to feel all of him. Experience just what it was like to be loved by Damon Salvatore before his possible impending death. Was it wrong of her to think like that? Probably…but her new motto was no to waste any time, and fighting with herself about right or wrong could take another three years and she knew there wasn't time for that.

With her palms flat on his chest, she pushed him back; shaking her head and doing her best to force air into her lungs. "We can't…not here."

He nodded and looked around quickly. "Let's go."

She wanted nothing more than to throw him in the back seat, but if Ric woke up and manage to break out, it was hardly a good scenario for him to find them all hot and heavy with their pants around their ankles. She let him help her into the car, the fire that had erupted inside of her still painfully lapping at her, begging for release, for satisfaction. She made a silent, internal promise that before the night was over she would have Damon…and more importantly, Damon would have her. She watched with dark eyes as he walked around the hood of the car and slid into the passenger seat. She made sure to stay as still and quiet as possible. There was no reason to let him know just how ridiculously anxious she was to put as many miles between them and any impending danger so they could find a little privacy.

The drive probably lasted no more than ten minutes before Damon's own internal fire won the battle and he pulled off the deserted highway and slightly into the tree line. Damon barely had time to move the seat back and before Elena had crawled into his lap, straddling him. There were no word to be said, none that needed to be heard. Neither of them knew if it was going to be their first time together, or their last but they were going to do their best to enjoy it and say goodbye at the same time, just in case. Elena pressed him onto his back, letting lips and tongue tease the side of his throat. She'd imagined Damon kissing her there, everywhere really and she wanted to know if the same places that turned her on, affected him. They did, and soon he was fisting his hand in her hair, guiding her kisses down and then back up to his lips.

She wiggled against him, wanting more friction than they could create like this, but she could only take what she could get. This wasn't pretty, it wasn't perfect…but it was them. There was nothing more _them _than a passionate, spontaneous love making in the front seat of a car while they were being chased by a deranged vampire hunter and his brother was dying a few towns away. Normally, they would push aside their desires, their feelings and do the right thing. Now, tonight…neither of them cared about the right thing. The only thing that mattered was being together, becoming one and doing it quickly before the world as they knew it spun out of control. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt his fingertips brush against the bare skin of her stomach as he fiddled with the button of her jeans.

Once he'd popped it open, he slid his hand inside and found the wetness she'd been trying to ignore ever since they started kissing. Damon turned her on, more than he should have and she hated it. On the up side, she could tell that she did the same thing to him, and took sick pleasure in the fact that he was currently just as tortured as she was. A low moan escaped her lips as he flicked one finger slowly against her clit, then faster. She gripped his shoulder tightly with one hand, the head rest with the other as he slid one finger inside her. His touch was satisfying, but not enough to slack the burning lust inside her. "More." She pleaded, her hips writing against his hand.

"These will have to come off then." He teased, tugging on one of her belt loops. She nodded and awkwardly shimmied them down her hips.

The smell of her arousal was even stronger now and he felt himself grow harder at the simple additive. "Touch me." She demanded breathlessly, looking down at him as she ground her hips against his.

He only shook his head, a smirk on his face. Even she couldn't deny he looked badass and sexy with all the blood and egotistical cockiness. He knew just how hot he was, and just what it did to her. "I can do even better, but you have to help."

Elena held her breath as he guided her hand to the zipper of his jeans, her fingers fumbling a bit as she worked them open, freeing him slowly. She kept her gaze on his as she wrapped her hand tightly around him, watching as his eyes roll into the back of his head. "Now more?" she teased and he nodded, but she only released her grip on him and rubbed against him.

Damon groaned, his fingers digging into her hips. He'd meant to be gentle, soft and loving their first time. Especially with the degree of love she'd shown by coming back for him…but all the pent up frustration and time they'd spent hiding from each other had made them both a little crazy. There was no room for candles and silk sheets in the front seat of his car. With a curse he ripped the wet lace from her hips and pulled her in for a slow deep kiss. "I will make this up to you." He promised, praying that his second death wouldn't come so he would be able to keep it.

She nodded, understanding the unspoken agreement. Neither of them had imagined this quite this way, but at least they were together. She let out a faint gasp as he slid the first few inches into her. He gritted his teeth, both at her shocking tightness and the way her nails dug into his skin, even through the fabric of his shirt. Slowly, they eased into the feeling of being joined, but when he was finally inside her, a little more control snapped; in both of them. Elena's fingers were in his hair, tugging his face this way and that so she could kiss every inch of his mouth, of his wounds. The assault opened a few more wounds up and she found herself tasting his blood. It didn't disgust her as she thought it may have, in fact she even got a taste of what it felt like to be him.

For a few fleeting moments the abnormal blood ran through her system and heightened everything within her. His thrusts became more powerful, his skin rougher where he touched her. She could smell his aftershave, from three days ago and the stubble on his chin no longer scratched her cheek but burned her. Everything was….more. Just more. She realized this is what it felt like to be a vampire and quickly moved her lips back to his, wondering if the sensation would change the way his kisses felt. By then, the few drops had already worked through her and she was desperate for more. More of that feeling…just more of _more_. "I want to taste you." She whispered, almost embarrassed and it took Damon a moment to comprehend what she was saying.

_More_ was something he was accustomed to, but with Elena it seemed to explode inside of him. "Are you sure?"

She nodded, her eyes watching him as he brought his lips to his wrist and bit into it. His fangs gleamed red for a moment and she quickly bent to kiss the blood away before moving to the wound he'd made for her. She cradled his hand with her own, feeling his free hand support her waist as she drank him in hungrily. When the wound closed up, she knew her chance was over, but she'd gotten enough to last her through this at least. Damon's fangs were still out and she guided his lips to her neck, waiting for him to bite…waiting for the pain. It never came, but she did cry out when he sunk the sharp tips into her. Heightened pleasure rushed through her like a flood, cutting off all her senses. She was thrown into a dark, silent vortex where she could see nothing, hear nothing.

All she could do was feel as each wave of ecstasy racked her body. By the time she'd collapsed against his chest, they were both spent and panting. Damon lay still beneath her for a moment, then slowly his hands began to move in her hair. He could feel hear heart pounding like a freight train against his chest and held her tightly against him. "I love you Elena." He whispered, knowing she didn't need to hear the words, but needing to say them himself.

She lifted her head, looking at him with a lazy smile. The last few minutes had wiped her out, but she could feel the tremors of pleasure still sizzling up and down her spine whenever she shifted over him. "I love you too."

As she said the words, she grinned. It felt right, this felt right. Everything was right. "Want to go home?"

Part of her disagreed, part of her wanted to run. If they never went back to Mystic Falls would they be safe? Could they have a normal life, or at least as normal as a vampire and his human lover could have? She knew it would be impossible, that no matter where they went danger would always find them. As long as she stayed with the Salvatore's; as long as she was alive she would never escape the dangers of being a Petrova doppelganger. She didn't want to spend her life running like Katherine, but she did want to spend it with Damon. "Yes, let's go home."

When they were both dressed and back in their seats, Damon started the engine and pulled back onto the road. She reached over for his hand, twining their fingers and smiling at him. Happy, this is what it felt like to be happy again. The ride was peaceful, and for once Elena let herself fully relax. She even let her eyes close and her head rest back against the seat as the hum of the engine let her drift in and out of consciousness. She had almost fallen asleep when Damon cursed, slamming on the breaks. She looked up to see a flash of blonde hair before the Camaro went over Wickery Bride. She griped Damon's hand tightly as the cold water began to pour into the car…

_a/n: see what I mean by cruel ending. This could have gone so many ways, as all stories can. I could have ended it sooner, or gone on a little more but I wanted to leave it here. Will Damon save her this time? Will she become a vampire still? __This is only one possible way the season could have ended, and we know from this show that the possibilities are endless. I do hope that you enjoyed and you aren't too displeased with me ending._

_p.s. do know that I read everyone of the reviews that I get and they each make me happy and smile. thank you for the continued support and the PM's that some of you send me. I am going out with my hubby this weekend camping so I will not be posting until Tuesday, but I am hoping I will get some writing done these next few days. watch for my Snow White fic. It's still in progress._


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